She has found me… my x-MMs wife.
I woke up to an anonymous comment on my personal blog. The funny thing is that he’s been so far from my mind recently that the comment totally confused me at first. I thought it was left by my husband.
But there were clues. And I figured them out. The confirmation came when I checked my site meter and saw their town on it at the time of the comment (middle of the night). She was on my site for over four hours.
So I now know that she knows that we had sex. And that he let her know it was more than just a fling…
Two months ago, this news would have encouraged me… not that she’s hurting, but that there might be a chance for us.
Now, all this news did was create anxiety and hurt. God, I never wanted to hurt anyone. I know I should have thought of that before. I should have considered her.
Now, I am filled with worry. fear. anxiety. hurt. And the knowledge that she IS hurting. And she IS suffering. And their marriage may be in shambles. And none of that makes me proud. or happy…
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October 31, 2009 at 1:58 pm
misfitmistress
i know none of it makes you proud or happy… but always remember- none of it is your fault. if it wasnt you, it probably would have been another woman… im not saying you cant feel bad though or show signs of regret- but you didnt make the commitment to her.
your post touches a subject that i still think about- does his wife research me like i have researched her? i actually, no joke, had a dream last night that Rs wife found my blog… and im still stuck in a rut where when i change a new facebook pic i often think about how she may see it… there is kind of this weird hope she still checks on me… the way i look at it is its only fair that im not the only one who is still in misery over this… then again, its R that i really want to be in misery still not his wife.
November 19, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Heartbroken OW
ZOMG, MM, I obssessively checked her FB page too, to see if she changed it. In fact, after she learned about us, I even opened up my page so she could learn anything about me that she wanted to and check out all of my photos. How evil does that seem???? lol
I’m sure R is still in misery. Esp if his wife is. He’s reaping it one way or another. I think her message to me told me pretty plainly, that my exMM is definitely still in the doghouse.
November 3, 2009 at 4:45 pm
michelle
I’m sorry all this has transpired…it seems this pain just keeps finding ways to re-surface.
But I agree with MM – if it hadn’t been you it would have been someone else. Maybe he wouldn’t have ended up caring about someone else-but he was ‘available’ and would have cheated.
I’m really coming around to the idea that affairs aren’t about either of the lovers…there’s some other underlying problem. His wife is trying to figure it out.
Hope things are continuing well with your new guy.
November 19, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Heartbroken OW
thanks Michelle.
btw – things ARE going well with Mr. New Guy.
November 19, 2009 at 1:39 pm
tvexplorer
This happened to me several months ago on my tvexplorer blog. It was frightening! Someone left a comment that said, simply, “Hi (my real name) and hi (my wife’s real name).” That’s all it said, but my blood-pressure shot up a hundred points by that one, simple comment. Like you, I checked it against my Sitemeter stats, and concluded the comment was not left by my former OW’s husband or my wife, which has always been my biggest fear. Rather, it was left by my former OW herself, and was written to fuck with me. Interestingly, the email address that was used to leave the comment (a fake address) was MsRightingWrongs@gmail.com. She was letting me know her thoughts had changed about our affair, and that she didn’t approve of what I had been writing. Needless to say, her comment had its intended effect. It fried my brain. For a while.
Has your MM’s wife ever tried to contact you directly to “get answers” about her husband? If she hasn’t, there is a strong chance she will before it’s over. My wife was a rabid pitbull where OW was concerned.
November 19, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Heartbroken OW
TV: whoa! I don’t know if my exMM or his wife would ever be able to find my blog (this one)… although, I suppose I shouldn’t discount it. Don’t know what I’d do then!!!
She hasn’t tried to contact me other than that. HOWEVER, I DID message her through Facebook and apologized (and mentioned that I knew it was her that left that comment). Her account disappeared that same day. Obviously, she got scared that I might turn it around on her. Or something…
I wonder if I’ll ever hear from her again. I still have a hard time picturing it. But then again, I never thought she’d contact me the first time around either.