I know that is what I am doing. But it is working for me right now: I’ve managed to go 2 full days without crying (HUGE!!!!) and without thinking of him constantly. And when I do think of him, I don’t feel like I’ve been punched in the gut (ok… I do, but it doesn’t feel like I’ve been sucker-punched and tackled and stomped on)

And it feels good.

I know it is only a matter of time before some of the excitement that I’m going through right now subsides, and my xMM creeps back to the forefront of my mind, however, I’ll take these moments of pseudo-normality for now.

This isn’t to say that I don’t think of him. I do. A lot. But I have a distraction that is helping to take the edge off of it.

That being said… when I stop and think about things, I’d definitely run back to him if he contacted me. That’s something I still can’t pretend I wouldn’t do.

So much for being strong…